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Futures and Frosting by Tara Sivec7/3/2023 ![]() Except for Mommy ‘cuz she has boobs,” Gavin replies earnestly. “What do you like better, cookies or girls?” Lisa questions. There is no point in even trying to put a stop to this train wreck. I put my elbow on the table and my head in my hand. “You sure like to say ‘fart’ a lot,” Lisa says with a laugh. “Fart in everyone’s face,” Gavin says in between giggles. Am I supposed to correct him when he spells “shit” wrong? Why the f**k hasn’t anyone printed a parenting handbook yet? What the heck am I ‘sposed to say?” Gavin asks with a roll of his eyes. “Excuse me? You know you aren’t supposed to say that word,” I scold. “I’ve heard you like to talk about your wiener a lot. “How do you even know that song?” I ask him. “SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT, WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU!” Gavin sings as loud as he can. Please don’t say “99 Problems But the Bitch Ain’t One” or I will smother Carter in his sleep for downloading that to his iPod. ![]() ![]() “What’s your favorite song?” Lisa continues. ![]() Oh that’s a super question to ask a four-year-old who just said his favorite holiday is passing gas. ![]() “Sheep, ‘cuz they’re stupid,” Gavin answers with a laugh. This interview has officially gone in the shitter. ![]()
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